Ode to my wife

Well, ok, so it's not exactly going to be poetry... perhaps "ode" isn't the best phrase. But, eh, whatever.

I have to say, though, I love my wife. I'm lucky to have her in my life, and I'm glad she's here.

She may not want me to say this in public, per se, but she occasionally has some self confidance issues. (Really, who doesn't though?) She's got her issues she deals with. (Again, who doesn't though?) She hasn't become what she sees as perfect. (At the risk of being boringly repetitive, though, who has?)

She will sometimes look at me, as if I'm successful and achieving what I want to acheive, and wonder what I see in her. (This according to her, of course.) It's true, the house isn't spotless when I get home a lot of the time. It's true, she's taken up different professions and not quite finished them before. It's true, sometimes she gets caught up in what she's doing and doesn't do what she says she was going to.

Of course, anyone who knew me before she came into my life knows how horribly I kept house... "pigsty" comes to mind as a description. (I tried to keep sanitary, but it was hardly "clean", just nothing rotting and molding and such, plenty of piles of junk all over though.) I've worked a few professions myself (anyone need to buy any life or health insurance? heh) and moved on from them as well. I've managed to find a calling that fits a definite bill for our family (and pays a few bills for the family), but she's found a role that needed filling for our family and taken that very seriously as well, with two amazing kids to show for it (and one who did far better than anyone would have expected due in large part to her amazing love and skill in her care for him, even if he's not with us today). And I'll be damned if I don't often enough get caught up in what I'm doing to put off other things I wanted to do... she's not that far off from where I am in many ways.

Although, ever since I was a kid I wanted to be a writer. I have a degree with a major in English as a writing concentration. In middle school and junior high, I subscribed to Writer's Digest... I think I had a poem or two published, but nothing I got paid for. I keep telling myself I need to write... and yet I never do. (With over a year's "vacation" from this blog, that shouldn't be news.) At this point now, though, my wife is taking concrete steps to achieve her writing goal. She's just signed a contract to be published with one magazine.... she's developing other articles and working on a novel even... she's in some very real ways ahead of me getting to where I want to be.

She worries on some days that I've got a degree and am working on a Master's... she worries that I'm "gainfully employed" in so far as I'm growing in ways she isn't... and, yet, she's taking the direct route to becoming what I still hope to eventually become in some ways. She's closer to where I want to be than I am and will likely get there first.... how could we be growing apart?

Beth, I love you. I know it's the nature of humanity to worry what will come to pass, and I won't make any promises that I may not be able to keep. But for the life of me, I can't see myself ever wanting to leave you behind... you are such a part of me, on a pace with me, and I want to share everything of me that isn't already a part of you with you.... Assuming we're both lucky enough to grow old, I'm quite positive we'll be growing old together. I'm excited to think you may have found your calling, especially as I could really see us both writing together some day... I do enjoy computers, but I'd give 'em up in a heartbeat if I had to choose between them an you. :)

For the rest of you, if that was too mooshy.... too bad. :p

We are building a religion

We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are widening the corridors
And adding more lanes

We are building a religion
A limited edition
We are now accepting callers
For these pendant key chains

To resist it is useless
It is useless to resist it
His cigarette is burning
But he never seems to ash

He is grooming his poodle
He is living comfort eagle
You can meet at his location
But you'd better come with cash

Now his hat is on backwards
He can show you his tatoos
He is in the music business
He is calling you "DUDE!"

Now today is tomorrow
And tomorrow today
And yesterday is weaving in and out

And the fluffy white lines
That the airplane leaves behind
Are drifting right in front
Of the waning of the moon

He is handling the money
He's serving the food
He knows about your party
He is calling you "DUDE!"

Now do you believe
In the one big sign
The doublewide shine
On the bootheels of your prime

Doesn't matter if you're skinny
Doesn't matter if you're fat
You can dress up like a sultan
In your onion head hat

We are building a religion
We are making a brand
We're the only ones to turn to
When your castles turn to sand

Take a bite of this apple
Mr. corporate events
Take a walk through the jungle
Of cardboard shanties and tents

Some people drink Pepsi
Some people drink Coke
The wacky morning DJ
Says democracy's a joke

He says now do you believe
In the one big song
He's now accepting callers
Who would like to sing along

He says, do you believe
In the one true edge
By fastening your safety belts
And stepping towards the ledge

He is handling the money
He is serving the food
He is now accepting callers
He is calling me "DUDE!"

Do you believe
In the one big sign
The doublewide shine
On the bootheels of your prime

There's no need to ask directions
If you ever lose your mind
We're behind you We're behind you
And let us please remind you
We can send a car to find you
If you ever lose your way

We are building a religion
We are building it bigger
We are building

A religion

A limited

Edition

We are now accepting callers...

For these beautiful...

Pendant keychains


Cake -- Comfort Eagle

School's Cool?

Aside from the matter of the tuition reimbursement I posted on earlier this week, man, school has it's issues. I'm taking a class right now that would probably qualify as one of those "horizon extending" classes... you know, one that doesn't really fit into the core of what you want to do with your life, or at least not why you went back to school to get a degree, but yet is required as a course of the degree. It's a class that I can acknowledge I will probably find useful at some point in my career, at least the theory thereof, but for right now it's more of a challenge then most of the rest of the classes and a general pain in the ass.

I'm behind right now, and we're only two weeks in. Had trouble sleeping earlier in the week (see insomnia post), so in the first part of the week my brain was just not focusing on what I was trying to do for class. It was Thursday before I got my first real discussion item in for class this week... and they're due on Wednesday. I'm behind on the reading... I have an assignment due tomorrow that I've, as they say, "done most of the thinking for" but don't have on paper yet. And at this time of night, I think it'll wait for tomorrow.

Next weekend I'm supposed to be going down to Bartow, and then on Sunday meeting up with a friend of mine from Ohio who'll be in St. Petersburg for a wedding, then come back up to JAX in time to get Jillian in bed on a school night. The driving in itself is formidable... but at this point, I wonder if I can sanely take that time away from this class. *sigh*

This might be less angstful after a good night's sleep... here's hoping... time to try. nini

I'm Late!!!

OHMIGOD! I'M LATE!!!

I mean, I missed a day. I should have posted yesterday, but I didn't. Damn. I should get the test the first day after missing, right? If I get one of those early detectors, they're good that quickly, right??

Why oh why didn't I post yesterday??? Who knew it could come to this....

Alright... here goes with the test....


....


...


..


.



Oh, wow. It's positive.


I'm a smartass.


Damn.

Tuition assistance

Well, as many (both? heh) of you know, I have been going back to school to pursue an MS in IT at Capella University for the past few years. (I'm going very part time, ok???) I was inspired to do this in large part due to the fact that the old employer was offering tuition assistance, and (in a twist on that) it seemed a great way to get out of a dead end job. ;)

Of course, the catch is that I had to stay there for a year after receiving the tuition assistance or I had to repay it. Last week on Tuesday, I opened up a letter stating that I owed Windstream $4,126.82, and they wanted it by November 15th.

Now, I don't know about you, but that's not exactly pocket change for me. It is true, I did agree to repay them if I left within a year, but I was kind of hoping they'd miss that part. I decided to turn around and email the person who sent me the notice and point out to them that while I did agree to repay the assistance if I left, I never agreed to terms on repayment. It amused me to think I could "repay" it at $1/month for the next 4,126 months... I would only have to live to be 377 years old to see the debt repaid. heh.

However, I'm kind of pleased to say that they were willing to work out payments... $200/month will still sting a bit, but it's better than the lump sum and will be paid off in less than two years, closer to a year and a half. By then, I'll have finished the degree anyway; I suppose it will be a good warm up to repaying the student loans when I get to that point. (Assistance was nice, but it was by no means the total bill.)

The degree will be worth it, right? right? ;)

Insomnia

Now I lay me down to sleep....

.... and now I get up again. *sigh*

I think I actually got an hour or so of sleep after I laid down this evening... not sure. But I got back up, used the restroom, and now here I am. Up. And not terribly happy about it.

In four and a half hours, my alarm is going to go off. I'll have to get up and get to work. Somehow, I'll have to make it through the day. Oh, and I'm low on soda. (I live in Florida now, I've gotten pretty good at replacing "pop" with "soda" in my vocabulary... heh. I still slip occasionally and get some weird looks... although, in truth, that's fun enough I hope to never stop calling it "pop" completely.)

*sigh* If this keeps up, it's going to be a long week.

Hearing voices

I keep hearing voices this morning.

For instance, in the 10 minutes since I sat down at this computer, I have heard little voices coming and going. Two different voices.

One of them talks about a toe hurting... eating things in the living room... wanting to play a trombone... and other things I can't honestly say I recall even 10 minutes later. (And as I typed this paragraph, that voice came back in talking about looking for protection from the other voice.) That other voice hasn't been as much, but has offered me a straw and come wafting in, as if from another room, just before the other voice asked for protection.

I have to head to work for a special project this afternoon (getting the systems online in a new branch), I expect the littlest voice to be upset with me for leaving.

Sad thing is when you start missing the voices, then you wonder if you are crazy for missing them. heh.

Goodbye, Live Oak!

'Cept, of course, I said goodbye to Live Oak over a month ago. Well, that's not too bad, though, when you consider that my last post before this was over a year ago. Am I improving? heh.

Alright... I'll play along. wfg wants me to talk about my writing strengths. So I'll say the fact I'm prolific and post to my blog regularly are two of my biggest writing strengths. Yeah, that's the ticket.

Beyond that? Hrm. I'm good at taking naps too. :)